The contradiction in the heart of my being

A path leads to the endless blackness of the infinite void. And truly; I drown in analogies and wake up in a dream that’s called reality.
No way is visible, for it fades into a single tangle of recursive self-reference.
You and I – We are one in perfection, merge into a symbiosis of self-similar fractals. We are pleonasms and yet false tautologies!

The Perfused Fractal

Mathematical Surrealism

I’m listening to your tone.
Fading to one’s own existence
my miserable brain tries
to make the incomprehensible
You are a riddle,
my very personal Theory of Everything,
the mystery
which binds me more
than the thought of the best hypothesis
to explain you,
because you are unapproachable.

Every analogy to describe you
fails to express your true complexity.
Perhaps you are
– and I dare to say “only” –
an analogy of recursive analogies,
a loop opening into itself,
that provides consciousness
here and there.

I hear you
in each of my thoughts,
see you
in everything
that is in front of me,
recognize you
in all your variations,
because you are diversity.
You are God.
You are chaos,
you are life.
And I would give everything
to understand you.

But this would probably
end in fatal inception;
I see it coming;
Because no human of…

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The Mathemagican

The mathematician
is indeed a magician
for he plays with numbers
like they were some kind
of juggle balls.

He speaks the language of the universe,
the language of logic;
Speaking in analogies
he combines equations
like the chemist combines toxic elements…

– they are the words
of logical thought,
are capable to tell stories
about the universe’s very first days.

The mathemagician’s passion
is to find analogies
between analogies,
just like the writer
searches for metaphors…

He searches for understanding the cosmos…
In dialoque with the universe
he begins to wonder and wander
across the ocean of infinite possibilities…

Fervor with measure,
passion with exactness,
that’s the ultimate of mathematics;
Connecting the details
to create the big puzzle…

Holistic thinking
clashes together
with reductionistic thinking…
That’s when the details coalesce
to one big picture.

The mathemagician loves riddles,
is as fascinated as a child discovering something new.
Nothing can stop the mathemagician’s curiosity
from finding out
by what the world is held together in its innermost…

and fascination;
that’s what drives him
– almost crazy…

Dark Monster of Mathemagics

Dark monster of numbers,
please tell me,
why do you look so angry
when messing around the symbols?

Dark monster of logic,
why are you searching for quantors
that aren’t for everyone?

Dark monster of topology,
why are you inside out
the same
as outside in?

Dark monster of abstract algebra,
why are you messing around
with my beloved structures?

What are you doing
with your scattered mind
in such a bizarre,
but fragile world of mathematics?

Can’t you just sit
and listen,
and don’t mess around?

What are your intentions,
you dolt,
what can you do
with such an unprepared mind?

It replies,
and I have to think twice
about what it said:

“My dearest,
you seem to be stuck
in your conventional ideas,
why don’t you try something new instead?

Do you lack creativity
or do you still live in the illusional reality
that mathematics doesn’t need such thing?

My dear,
I know your intention was not bad,
but you do more harm than good
with the idea of never trying something new.

Guess, what where these people
who made scientific breakthroughs?
Conservatives who built their ideas on conventional ideas!?

I tell you,
my dear,
every breakthrough was made by someone
who was at least a third of a rebel!

So don’t dare to tell me I can’t achieve that,
let me try
and find new possible ways!”

Phi Dance

Mathematical Surrealism

The sequence starts;
One plus one equals two,
continues; one and two is three;
two and three gives us five…

my little friend,
a constant of the approximative value
one comma six one eight!

A ratio
so golden
and a sequence
so pure!

Numbers are juggle balls;
Play around,
my beloved mathemagicians,
and see; It’s all just a game!

Divide one by one,
two by one,
three by two,
five by three,
eight by five
and see:

It will dance around
a mysterious axis,
in this case
called “phi”.

my little numbers;
dance around the axis
of pure mysteries!

One plus the square root of five
divided by two
creates a number’s hive
of beautiful patterns recognized by you!

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A Klein Bottle

Ms Premise-Conclusion

A Klein bottle is an interesting closed surface that comes up in certain areas of mathematics. After our wonderful librarian at school hooked me up (no pun intended, but I will leave it) with a paper on a knitted version of a Klein bottle, I thought I should really try to crochet one someday. Enter: summer holidays and free time.


So, what the heck is it? Unlike a Mobius strip, it doesn’t have an edge, but, like a Mobius strip, it is referred to as a ‘non-orientable’ surface. This means that if you were to run your finger along the entire length of the surface (starting anywhere) you would wind up back where you started, but with your finger on the opposite side of the surface. Trippy.

It’s a cylinder that intersects with itself and then the ends get attached together. Here’s a diagram to help you visualize what…

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My Heart is a Calabi-Yau-Manifold

My dear,
you’ll get lost
in the maze
of what I am.

You’ll never understand me
for your brain isn’t designed
for more than three dimensions.

You’ll never grasp
what I am
or even who I am,
because even I don’t know.

Everything I could do
is limiting myself
to make sense to you.

But this isn’t what I want,
neither does it bring us forward in any way;
It would only hold us back
from our personal progress.

We would only be
destroyer of dreams,
killers of development.

Is destruction
all you want??
…while you declare it
as an act of creation?

Then, my dear,
I have to tell you,
you lost yourself in the layers of my twisted existence!

The Importance of Holistic Learning

In school it’s often the case that we learn facts without questioning why and how. Curiosity became lost. But how can we gain, or better said ignite, curiosity? It starts with ones own true passion for the subject – may it be whatever it is. Everyone is an expert in something. We should learn to see our own strengths (and also weaknesses), form a collective that’s helping each other to make the best possible effort – but, perhaps not effort, but a kind of passion for the things we teach and study.

Another very important aspect is holistic learning in which one can recognize connections between many different ideas, concepts of theories. It starts with the quastion “Why?”. But why is it so important to teach the ability to view everything as a whole? If we understand something, we “build bridges”, and if we can connect these bridges we can indeed feel a kind of ecstasy for understanding is true joy. But, unfortunately, most people rarely feel this in this very intense form one gets by finding out something by oneself.

As I was a child I said that the entire universe was a jigsaw puzzle. Now I still think it’s true, it’s just more complex in the means that every jigsaw puzzle piece is an entire jigsaw puzzle game itself. This analogy became “more exact” just as Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity could predict gravitational effects far better than the older Newtonian Theory of Gravity. Everything evolves and changes, transforms and develops. We learn from our mistakes and make it better (at least that’s the theory…).

But what does it have to do with holistic learning? Holistic learning enables us to see beyond the borders of our understanding, to grasp the universe and everything it contains as one whole. To understand bigger connections can indeed enlighten us, can make us over-think complicated things and explain them simple. – That’s exactly what mathematics is as well! We try to make complicated things simple, not the other way around!

My conclusion is that holistic learning is not just important because of the fact that it can motivate and inspire us and can ignite curiosity that became lost, but also because of the idea that it also brings us forward in our thinking, in our scientific research and perhaps makes us realize we are all one in a world where separation and hate tear us apart.




Into the Heart of Punk & Math

This is a short reminder that one can be whatever she/he/whatever wants to be! I’m a math enthusiast and have a punk-like appearance, am an artist and writer and lover of the sciences. Some might say it’s an oxmoron, but that’s simply not true. Just because there are many pointless clichés about punks or any other alternative style doesn’t mean they are in any way true!

But before we dig deeper into this matter, I’ll shortly say something about my circumstances and how my love for the sciences evolved.

As I was a child I loved science in general (as far as I could grasp it), I really enjoyed mineralogy and loved to distinguish different gem stones. This was about the time in elementary school. But sadly, as school continued, my love for science, the enthusiasm and especially the curiosity became lost. I was condemned to “learn”, alias memorize, things without being shown of the glorious connections between them. It is really sad, because that’s what I later found in math the most; You can always ask why, and you have to ask it to really understand it ! It doesn’t bring anything to simply memorize, you’ll either forget or don’t know how to process the information properly. I never learnt how to think, instead I only “learnt” what to think. The problem is, if you don’t know how to think what give you all these facts? – They becomes pointless! But perhaps that’s what our world wants; people who obey the system without questioning stupid rules that make no sense, people smart enough to run the machines, but dumb enough to continue to play this deadly game…

However, as school continued I lost all hope for my future, because I had no passions, no interests, no anything anymore. Besides, I made experience with bullying that made it worse as well – but I don’t want pity, I just want to tell everyone of you; It’s okay, it made me strong, strong enough for this world of a superficial society.

In a world where stupefaction is most alive, (true) education is an act of rebellion.

True eductaion? – How can one define it? Well, let me try. True education comes from the inside and is not supplied from the outside (like schools try to do so), it can only be fed by the outside through enthusiasm and truly delightful, inspirational curiosity. Teachers who do their job for their lifes may have a similar philsophy – and I value this kind of teacher by far the most! Not that I don’t respect “ordinary teachers”, but I think that’s not what our world really needs. We need people who can make us think for ourselves, üpeople who give us motivation, teachers who have perhaps a kind of compassion and empathy towards their students/ pupils, because everyone has a different learning style. It is important to understand each other. The relationship between student and teacher is far more important than one might actually think! It can truly shape our future life, makes us go “Uhh, dude, I simply hate science, so much boring facts!”, or it will ignite a flame of pure wonder  in which we’ll be able to see beyond the borders of our own understanding and recognize the holistic connections of the whole, called by us “universe”.

In the end we are all, each of us, students and teachers! I once made an ambigram to this idea. It can be seen in the following video:



Mathematical Surrealism

I’m a system
of strict and rigorous rules.
Don’t dare to break them
or you are incredible fools!

Prove me wrong,
but don’t dare
to leave me along
for it’s all we ever were.

Don’t dare to leave me,
because I’m all of this,
don’t dare to be
that very last beautiful kiss.

But what are you doing?
Where are you going
after all?
What were you saying in your very last call?

Are you telling me
I’m incomplete,
that no one can see
me being utterly complete?

What am I supposed to be
without a complete identity?
Paradox, I am,
being self-referent is all I can!

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